I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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