Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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