Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
