So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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