i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
