You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
