You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
