I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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