you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
