Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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