Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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