Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
