he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
