your thong is hanging out like whoa
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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