I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
