I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
