the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
