the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
