why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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