You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
