she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
