I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Dick very happy bro
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
