every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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