Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
