He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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