I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
