i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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