There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
dude. I can hear the air.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
