I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
