Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
