...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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