that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
