my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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