i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
