38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
