I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
