My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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