my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Randomize
