Kiss
Puke
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yo dont text me then not text me
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize