if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He shit in the fireplace
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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