her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
