i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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