Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
