We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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