The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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