You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
