The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
