I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
