New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
