I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
