oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
