Non-Jews are for practice
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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