I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
