Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
