All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
