This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
