I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
