I hate your face
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
