I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
