my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
