I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
