sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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