3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
