Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
